As I am going through my "Edit Posts" pages, I have so many drafts. Usually they are too revealing for me to post on here. Part of "Identifying Sarah" is well - hard. I was raised in a very small, rural area. Population roughly 7000 in the entire county! One high school, NO fast-food chains or Wal-mart, a blinking caution light, and farm land. I was blessed to live close to my grandparents and spend a lot of time with them. It was the kind of town where the village helped raise the child or I like to think so. I knew that if my parents weren't around and I did something I wasn't supposed to... Well I got in trouble then and when I got home. I appreciate the way that I was raised. I grew up very sheltered and naive about the world.
Saying that, I could be pretty close-minded and judgmental growing up. Since leaving the small town and experiencing the big world, I've grown up. I understand that not everyone thinks or feels the same way that I do. Heck, very few people are like me! Everyone is raised differently. Everyone is taught different things and experiences life in different ways. That is what makes the world go round.
Something has been on my mind for the past couple of days. Seth told me I need to loosen up. This isn't the first or hundredth time someone has said that to me. Knowing where I came from and being able to recognize characteristics of my life (good and bad) hasn't helped me determine why I'm so uptight. To be honest, I don't really think about it. It is just who I've always been. As years go by, I've lightened up a little. Obviously not as much as other people would like me to be. Boy if I had HALF of a penny for every time someone had said that I need to loosen up or that I'm wound too tight, etc. etc. I would not only be a millionaire but well on my way to being a billionaire. Seriously!
As I mentioned, I've grown older and let go of my close-minded, judgmentalness. It is still there but just not as much as it once was. I try to understand where other people are coming from. I may not agree with it. However, it is your life. You do what you want. I would appreciate it if you treated me the same though. Just because I don't drink or smoke or do drugs or vandalize people's property does not mean that it gives you the right to call me uptight. If you choose to do anything, that is your choice. You will reap the rewards or consequences of your actions. I have no problem with that. I do have a problem when your actions could possibly affect me or any of my friends/family. Examples - Egging my car, driving under the influence of whatever, etc. Just because I don't live life the way you do, does not mean I don't enjoy it and loosen up. To each their own.
Now, I agree that sometimes I get wound too tight. I let things fester. I overbook my life. I worry about what people think of me. I have trust issues. I've been burnt in the past as I'm sure many of us have. Here's the general scenario: You let your guard down. Let someone into your life. They see more of the real you. They learn intimate details of your life. You go on thinking that you can trust this person as more and more time goes by. Then all of a sudden one day they are gone. POOF. Disappeared. OR They end up telling someone information about you that shouldn't have been told. It all boils down to the fact that they betray your trust. They have hurt you. Trust is one of those things that will make or break any relationship. With it, everything is so much easier to handle. Without it, there is no relationship. If it is broken, it is so very, very hard to rebuild. But.... all of that stuff, makes me who I am today. I may be a little biased but I like who I am. Sure there are things I could do better. But as I have told Seth... love me or leave me.
I'll let you in on a little secret though. You ask "You say that you loosen up on your own terms but how do you do it?" I do it all by myself. :) I have late night dance parties. I travel to far off places. I go to concerts. So there. I loosen up. You just aren't privileged enough to see it. Well I suppose you see it after the fact when I post pictures on Facebook or a few here. Technically those are censored though...
(PS - I'm not writing this blog specifically to Seth. I'm writing this to anyone. Maybe you know people in your life that are uptight. Give them a break! Appreciate them for who they are. Show them that they can trust you. But don't push them to "loosen up". Let it happen on their time.)
While looking for a quote, I found this gem and couldn't pass it up! :)
“While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.”
Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!!
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