It may sound odd for a 20 something to be talking about journaling. Go ahead and laugh. I find it rather therapeutic. I've been writing off and on since I was about 12. I write about daily events, things I've seen, people in my life, thoughts or feelings about things I do not discuss with others, prayers. So many things go into my journal. As the years go by, sometimes I pull an old one out. (Yes, I keep them all.) I find it funny to look back at what I thought my life was like, the horrors I had experienced, things that made me giddy with laughter, boys I've "loved" and lost. Everything that I have written is part of me. It has molded and shaped me into the woman I am today.
This is a typical entry for me. Date on top. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Signature. :)
On a side note, I think it is super cool to watch your signature transform. When I first started, it was cursive writing by the book. As I've aged, it has become less by the book and more about me. Sometimes it is a line w/ barely enough of a curve on the top and bottom to signify an S! Sometimes it is very fluid and others it is sharp and rigid. All of which denote moods.
I find the disadvantages of journaling are fewer than the advantages. I'll start with those first.
Disadvantages
1. Worrying about people reading your most intimate thoughts. I had a minor freak out when I thought I left my journal at Seth's. Thankfully I found it in one of my bags. The thought of Seth being able to read everything I've said about our relationship blew my mind. I don't know if he would actually do something like that. I wouldn't put it past him though. I'm fairly open in our relationship so I'm not sure what else he would gain from it.
2. The randomness of writing. I can go for months without writing. When I finally sit down to put in an entry, I'm amazed at how much time has lapsed. I hate that I'm not able to remember all the specific details that have occurred during that time.
Advantages
1. Writing through confusing/trying times where I can't seem to make sense of it. Writing causes me to slow down; to control all the information flowing through my head so that it has to line up and take order.
2. I'm able to return to it and laugh about where I've been.
3. I'm also able to remember events to see what happened. When you are in the moment or a few days after, memories are pouring out of your brain. If you wait a few weeks, months, years, you don't remember all the nitty gritty details.
4. It is the one time where I can be me. I am real and alive. I can agree or disagree with my thoughts and feelings. I can reprimand myself. I can praise myself. I can say all the things I've been dying to get off my chest throughout the day. I can dream without anyone telling me no.
5. One day, I will be able to pass them on to my future-hypothetical-children. We've all been through the same things. The general topic, yes. The specific details, maybe not so much. All children have a difficult time thinking of their parents as anything other than parents. They have never experienced heart break. They have never experienced failing grades or not making a sports team. They have no idea what it is like to have parents who won't let them hang out with certain friends. Oh what little do they know... I think by passing on journals, my future-hypothetical-children may understand me more as a person that has experienced the same struggles that they are experiencing and less like a controlling, nagging monster. :) Of course, I will do some editing... They don't need to know ALL of the details!
So who else keeps a journal? Why do you choose to keep one? What are the things you choose to write?
“There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach…. To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.” -H. Prather
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