Relationships 2.0

*Go check out the previous blog for this topic at Relationships.*


Cheap Trick anyone?  Come on a good high energy relationship-ish type song.  My thoughts exactly!

"I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me, I'm beggin' you to beg me..."

Both the male and female sex want all the above.  Something is ingrained in our brains that we need to belong to a group or person or a something.  Maybe it is part of the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  You remember from psychology and every other class that they taught this in...  We have specific needs met as we gradually climb the pyramid to reach self-actualization.  I've put a pretty little diagram just in case you've forgotten. :)

Love/Belonging is right there in the middle.  Above Physiological and Safety needs.  Below Esteem.

So why is it so hard to get that attention that we so desperately seek?  I could go with the obvious family background and the way you were raised.  However, I'm going to go the safe route and say that whoever decided that technology and the fast paced life were needed... blame it on them.  I'm not saying that technology is a bad thing!!  I love having my iPhone and television and Facebook.  All of these things and so much more have caused society to constantly be running around like a chicken with our head cut off.  I can point fingers because I am SO guilty of this!  I shouldn't be pointing fingers though.   I haven't really spent any time with my boyfriend in several months.  (The time equates to about 3 days in April.)  There are many reasons for this.  Partially because I didn't feel that I was wanted.  So I created things for me to do so I felt wanted.  My excuse is that I have all kinds of things that I "need" to do.  Why do I feel that need is there?  Because I want to belong.  I want to be needed.  I decided that if I couldn't feel that with my boyfriend, I'll feel it somewhere else.  Not saying that was the most mature approach.  I never claimed to be the best at relationships!  Just that I've been around the block a time or two, stumbled across the pavement, got a few cuts and scrapes, but I still keep walking. :)

Both males and females want to be wanted.  Men may not admit to it as much as a woman would but they still want to be wanted.  Fixing stuff around the house, opening jars because they are stronger, being your protection, being the PROVIDER, etc.  Men thrive on that kind of stuff.  Women... well we are more emotional.  We 'mother'.  We fix meals, make sure the house is clean, everyone is taken care of, etc.  As I'm typing this, I kind of hesitate on the woman's side of things.  Strange that I can't put into words what women want and the ways that they demonstrate this want.  Makes me laugh a little because I tell a lot of guys when they ask about women, "Women don't know what they want... but they want it all."  You know why oftentimes women don't know what they want?  Simple.  We've been ingrained to fulfill the wants, needs and desires of everyone else in our lives before we fulfill our own.  Maybe this is a generalization for southern women instead of women everywhere.  I think it fits to some degree though.  The mantra of "If everyone else is happy, then I'm happy."  But what about the line "If momma ain't happy, then nobody's happy."  I've painted quite a conundrum for myself.  Is it just a vicious cycle?  Is it an unspoken rule that momma rules the land?

WOW... I've digressed.  In life, we all want to be wanted.  Once we've left childhood and partially the teenage years, we tend to gravitate towards the opposite sex.  We are looking to be wanted by the opposite sex.  We are trying to fulfill that societal and physiological role of finding a mate.

Now just to let you know.  I have already finished typing my spiel to answer the original question.  I took the end of this blog and created another so it wouldn't be too long.  So check back in a few days for "Relationships - Tres"


"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu

Blogging Thoughts

I haven't been blogging for long but it is really addicting!  A couple of weeks ago, I would check my "Dashboard" every couple of hours for new posts from fellow bloggers.  Dashboard is kind of like your homepage for those of you who do not use Blogger.  That week I was also in a writing mood and wrote all kinds of stuff.  Some of which I didn't end up posting just because it was far too personal.

I've tried to be very cautious in what I write and then post.  Because my post is public, anyone, anywhere can read my blog.  It is kind of scary and super cool all at the same time.  I have readers in India, UK, South Korea, Denmark, Germany, etc.  How awesome is that???

I also love to see how many people view the different posts.  It is interesting to me which topics get the highest ratings.  For instance, my post yesterday titled  "Relationships" has had the most viewings with the exception of one other post.  In one day, it has beat everything else out.  You want to know why?  Plain and simple.  Everyone is intrigued by relationships.  I'm sure some readers thought that I would dish on current or past relationships.  HA!  Fooled you! :)  Again, there is no point in airing dirty laundry.  It only hurts people and makes me look silly.  Also, there are always at least two sides to every story.  By the way, this was the first blog that I've been nervous about posting.

Some topics that I try to avoid are anything and everything to do with work.  Also, relationships, family, gossip, arguments, etc. are off limits.  I try to give very generic thoughts or descriptions.  Also, I limit the amount of future events.  (We've all heard stories of people posting their life schedules only to be used against them by criminals.)

Fellow bloggers: Are there things you have avoided or enjoy discussing?  What do you love the most about blogging?

Relationships

I recently had a male friend come to me and ask "Why do girls you ignore ‘love ya’ and the ones you show attention to, take it for granted?"  With his encouragement, I thought this was a great blog topic!!!  How many times do we wish we could understand the other sex?  I'm going to go ahead and say at least once a day.  Whether it is regarding relationships, fashion, sports, food selections, sense of humor, etc., we all wonder why the other sex does the things they do.

Am I an expert on relationships and the differences between the two sexes?  HECK NO!  My degree is in business!  I do have a complete and utter fascination with the differences and similarities between the two sexes.  Because of this, I have done plenty of my own research.  Books that I have read include (but are not listed in any particular order): 

1. Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate by Patti Stranger (You may know this author from the show Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo.) 
2. Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul by John Eldredge
3. Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge
4. Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray
5. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt (There was a movie based on this book.)
6. Men, Love & Sex: The Complete Users Guide for Women by David Zinczenko

Not to mention excerpts from other books, countless articles found in print and web magazines, nights spent journaling, on the phone w/ girlfriends and even guy friends analyzing what happened, what I did wrong or what they did wrong.  Plenty of relationships to reference...  I'm not saying that every relationship is the exact same but relationships have certain aspects that will occur regardless of who is in it.  PS - I will not air out dirty laundry from my past relationships.  I don’t think that would help anyone at all.  I will say that when it comes to male/female relationships, I was a late bloomer.  I didn’t get any guidance from family which can be considered a blessing and a curse.  At least I can say that I have figured this one out on my own and at my own pace.  I dated two guys in high school, a couple serious relationships throughout college and several “relationships” that took place out of boredom.  I was and still can be a terrible flirt.  I’ve messed with guys’ heads and broke a few hearts.  I’ve dated a few good guys and quite a few duds.  Every step of the process has led me to where I am today.  Everything has happened for a reason.  I have gained knowledge and experience from it all.

Please do not misinterpret, I’m not bragging at all!  I’m merely trying to explain that I feel justified in writing about relationships because I have experienced almost the full spectrum with exception of engagement, marriage, and divorce.  Everyone develops and matures at their own speed.  I again, have chosen to take the longer road.  Had you told me in high school that I would still be single at 25, I would have laughed.  My plan was to go to college, meet some guy, fall in love and then we would marry once we were both finished.  HA!  After 5.5 years of higher education and working for about 2.5 years, I’m not close to marriage.  Yes, I am currently dating someone and everything is chugging along.  No wedding bells chiming though.  Enough said.

Before I start spewing my opinions, if you choose to disagree, that is your prerogative.  Please be respectful of my writings.  I have already claimed to be no authority on the subject.  I am merely giving opinions based on research and observation.

Now you'll have to come back for some of my sage advice in "Relationships 2." :)


“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.”

Complete and Total Randomness

Ever have so many thoughts going on that you don't know where to start??  Well that is me today!  Spring finally came and so has my social calendar!  I've basically got something planned every weekend in April.  May doesn't have much going on, YET. May already has a couple of weekends booked with bridal showers, election and Memorial Day.  June is getting busy too.  I've got a "To Do" list just for today that keeps growing.  Even as I'm typing this, I've thought of a few things to add to it!  (Dear Lord, please help me make it through this day!)  Take a deep breath and hold on.  PS - This will give you a slight glimpse into my life!

I have a list of summer concerts that keeps growing.  Last year I think I attended 11 or 12 concerts from March to October.  Some weeks, there were several events.  Needless to say, I spent a chunk of change on this.  I'm trying to be more reasonable this year.  I've got 3 that I really, really want to go to.  Michael Buble, Greenbrier Classic (which is 2-3 concerts) and Maroon 5 w/ Train.

Along with concerts, my summer includes a SOLO birthday vacation.  I met up w/ a friend last year and it was horrible.  So I'll keep it solo!  I've hit Asheville, NC and Charleston, SC the past few years.  I really had my heart set on Savannah but now I have no clue.  I've toyed with the idea of going to DC just for the fireworks.  I really enjoyed being at the beach last year though.  Decisions, decisions!

My Thirty-One business is busy, busy this week!!  I'm closing an order from last week.  I'm also planning for a Relay for Life fundraiser on Saturday.  I will be donating my commission to the fundraiser.  Hoping that good karma will come back to me!!  So if anyone has been wanting to place an order, this weekend is a great time to contact me!  You get what you want and research for the cure for cancer is continued!  Speaking of Thirty-One, I ordered business cards a few weeks ago.  Opened up the package and glanced over it, everything looked fine.  When I was getting ready for my party last weekend, I took the rubber band off the cards.  I had to do a double take... They left off the last digit of my cell phone number!  Major GRRRR!  I checked my order and it was not an error on my part.  I contacted the company but I'm doubtful that the new cards will be here in time for Saturday.  Disappointing when I'm trying to drum up some business!

My second blog.  I know I mentioned that I have another blog in the works.  Because I've been so busy with life, I haven't had any time to write.  I have all the ideas on a list and started to take pictures for some of the posts.  Hopefully, I can get that in the works towards the end of the month.

Because I have so much going on in my life, I'm not as interested in my work.  Major bummer.  I'd rather be at home doing everything else! :)  Speaking of work, I wish I could telecommute or be able to work flex hours.  This commute is sucking the life out of my paycheck!

How do you decide what party to vote for?  I see both sides of the fence.  I've registered as one party but I'm not sure if it is right.  I don't want to be someone who bounces between party lines.  I want to pick one and stick with it.

I'm listening to the Righteous Brothers through Myspace music.  I'm mildly disturbed by one of their songs.  You know them for "Unchained Melody", "You've Lost that Loving Feeling", etc.  This song is titled "Lighten Up."  Basically, it is talking about a woman putting on weight after they get married, telling her that she's fat and needs to lose the weight.  REALLY?  No wonder she lost that loving feeling....

I have been journaling like CRAZY lately.  Normally it was just thoughts and previous events.  Now I'm doing anything and everything.  Prayers, quotes, scriptures, events, thoughts, hopes, dreams, etc.  It is so cathartic!

Speaking of hopes and dreams.  I think I'm supposed to be working with children.  I know this sounds crazy.  I already work with the youth group at my church.  I don't know to what extent this is but I keep feeling this pull.  I really want to get into photography.  I have a plan for that.  So I'm hoping that is what I'm supposed to be doing.  I HOPE!

I have tomorrow "off" in order for me to go to the doctor.  Well make that two doctor's appointments.  I'm also working on Easter eggs w/ the youth group.  My sister will be arriving late tomorrow night also.  Bring on the madness!!

Last but not least, I have a pair of blue suede platform sandals that I am DYING to wear!!  I need to go through my closet and find an outfit.  I'm DESPERATE because they are absolutely gorgeous! :)



"Pursue one great decisive aim with force and determination." ~ Karl von Clausewitz

...Boy am I off!

Finally Friday!

I gather from reading a few other blogs that EVERYONE has been busy this week!  It is such a blur to me at where all my time went this week.  Monday I started writing a blog that will probably be a 2 or 3 part series.  I wrote SO MUCH!  I'm excited to finish it and post it.  I think it is a really good topic and hope everyone will give their feedback.  I have also been writing at work.  Mostly I've been dealing with analysis and figures.  So it has been hard for me to switch back into writing mode.  Thirdly, I've been writing in my journal a lot lately.  I've written in some form of a journal since middle school.  Most of which I still have.  Someone asked me what the purpose of journaling was.  To me, it is such an easy way to get everything out of my brain.  I've been known to over think things or obsess about an issue.  So I write it out.  It also helps for me to realize what my thoughts and feelings truly are.  I start writing and almost blank out.  My thoughts come out more freely that way.  I try not to lie to myself.  That would just be silly!  But also, I think it is funny to look back and see what I have wrote.  So many times, I make a mountain out of a mole hill.  Hind sight is 20/20 though.  One other thought on journaling, I think it would be cool to give my hypothetical future children my journals.  We've all been there thinking that our parents don't have a clue what we are going through.  I could tell my children that I do know and I can prove it.  All entries are dated. :)  I may have to black out certain parts because they may not need to know every nitty gritty detail of my life.  But again, hypothetically speaking. ;)

I've also been on the phone basically every night making contacts, talking with family, Seth, etc.  CRAZINESS!

I've also been planning for several events.  I have a Thirty One party tomorrow.  I've also agreed to do a booth at a Relay for Life booth.  While I won't be making money off of it, I hope to get contacts and book a few parties from it which would make me money!  My sister will be visiting.  I'm busy with church activities.  Making Easter eggs, cookie and candy bouquets and crafts with the Youth Group to fundraise.  AND a concert.  Easter is coming up of course. YAY for momma's home cooking and family!

In addition to all of that, I'm working on some home improvements, reading a book, purging household stuff, desperately wanting to do some flower gardening, trying to plan summer trips and concert events.  It seems the change of weather has breathed life into my social calendar.  Hip Hip Hooray!!


Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.  ~Grandma Moses