Relationships

I recently had a male friend come to me and ask "Why do girls you ignore ‘love ya’ and the ones you show attention to, take it for granted?"  With his encouragement, I thought this was a great blog topic!!!  How many times do we wish we could understand the other sex?  I'm going to go ahead and say at least once a day.  Whether it is regarding relationships, fashion, sports, food selections, sense of humor, etc., we all wonder why the other sex does the things they do.

Am I an expert on relationships and the differences between the two sexes?  HECK NO!  My degree is in business!  I do have a complete and utter fascination with the differences and similarities between the two sexes.  Because of this, I have done plenty of my own research.  Books that I have read include (but are not listed in any particular order): 

1. Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate by Patti Stranger (You may know this author from the show Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo.) 
2. Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul by John Eldredge
3. Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge
4. Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray
5. He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt (There was a movie based on this book.)
6. Men, Love & Sex: The Complete Users Guide for Women by David Zinczenko

Not to mention excerpts from other books, countless articles found in print and web magazines, nights spent journaling, on the phone w/ girlfriends and even guy friends analyzing what happened, what I did wrong or what they did wrong.  Plenty of relationships to reference...  I'm not saying that every relationship is the exact same but relationships have certain aspects that will occur regardless of who is in it.  PS - I will not air out dirty laundry from my past relationships.  I don’t think that would help anyone at all.  I will say that when it comes to male/female relationships, I was a late bloomer.  I didn’t get any guidance from family which can be considered a blessing and a curse.  At least I can say that I have figured this one out on my own and at my own pace.  I dated two guys in high school, a couple serious relationships throughout college and several “relationships” that took place out of boredom.  I was and still can be a terrible flirt.  I’ve messed with guys’ heads and broke a few hearts.  I’ve dated a few good guys and quite a few duds.  Every step of the process has led me to where I am today.  Everything has happened for a reason.  I have gained knowledge and experience from it all.

Please do not misinterpret, I’m not bragging at all!  I’m merely trying to explain that I feel justified in writing about relationships because I have experienced almost the full spectrum with exception of engagement, marriage, and divorce.  Everyone develops and matures at their own speed.  I again, have chosen to take the longer road.  Had you told me in high school that I would still be single at 25, I would have laughed.  My plan was to go to college, meet some guy, fall in love and then we would marry once we were both finished.  HA!  After 5.5 years of higher education and working for about 2.5 years, I’m not close to marriage.  Yes, I am currently dating someone and everything is chugging along.  No wedding bells chiming though.  Enough said.

Before I start spewing my opinions, if you choose to disagree, that is your prerogative.  Please be respectful of my writings.  I have already claimed to be no authority on the subject.  I am merely giving opinions based on research and observation.

Now you'll have to come back for some of my sage advice in "Relationships 2." :)


“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.”

Complete and Total Randomness

Ever have so many thoughts going on that you don't know where to start??  Well that is me today!  Spring finally came and so has my social calendar!  I've basically got something planned every weekend in April.  May doesn't have much going on, YET. May already has a couple of weekends booked with bridal showers, election and Memorial Day.  June is getting busy too.  I've got a "To Do" list just for today that keeps growing.  Even as I'm typing this, I've thought of a few things to add to it!  (Dear Lord, please help me make it through this day!)  Take a deep breath and hold on.  PS - This will give you a slight glimpse into my life!

I have a list of summer concerts that keeps growing.  Last year I think I attended 11 or 12 concerts from March to October.  Some weeks, there were several events.  Needless to say, I spent a chunk of change on this.  I'm trying to be more reasonable this year.  I've got 3 that I really, really want to go to.  Michael Buble, Greenbrier Classic (which is 2-3 concerts) and Maroon 5 w/ Train.

Along with concerts, my summer includes a SOLO birthday vacation.  I met up w/ a friend last year and it was horrible.  So I'll keep it solo!  I've hit Asheville, NC and Charleston, SC the past few years.  I really had my heart set on Savannah but now I have no clue.  I've toyed with the idea of going to DC just for the fireworks.  I really enjoyed being at the beach last year though.  Decisions, decisions!

My Thirty-One business is busy, busy this week!!  I'm closing an order from last week.  I'm also planning for a Relay for Life fundraiser on Saturday.  I will be donating my commission to the fundraiser.  Hoping that good karma will come back to me!!  So if anyone has been wanting to place an order, this weekend is a great time to contact me!  You get what you want and research for the cure for cancer is continued!  Speaking of Thirty-One, I ordered business cards a few weeks ago.  Opened up the package and glanced over it, everything looked fine.  When I was getting ready for my party last weekend, I took the rubber band off the cards.  I had to do a double take... They left off the last digit of my cell phone number!  Major GRRRR!  I checked my order and it was not an error on my part.  I contacted the company but I'm doubtful that the new cards will be here in time for Saturday.  Disappointing when I'm trying to drum up some business!

My second blog.  I know I mentioned that I have another blog in the works.  Because I've been so busy with life, I haven't had any time to write.  I have all the ideas on a list and started to take pictures for some of the posts.  Hopefully, I can get that in the works towards the end of the month.

Because I have so much going on in my life, I'm not as interested in my work.  Major bummer.  I'd rather be at home doing everything else! :)  Speaking of work, I wish I could telecommute or be able to work flex hours.  This commute is sucking the life out of my paycheck!

How do you decide what party to vote for?  I see both sides of the fence.  I've registered as one party but I'm not sure if it is right.  I don't want to be someone who bounces between party lines.  I want to pick one and stick with it.

I'm listening to the Righteous Brothers through Myspace music.  I'm mildly disturbed by one of their songs.  You know them for "Unchained Melody", "You've Lost that Loving Feeling", etc.  This song is titled "Lighten Up."  Basically, it is talking about a woman putting on weight after they get married, telling her that she's fat and needs to lose the weight.  REALLY?  No wonder she lost that loving feeling....

I have been journaling like CRAZY lately.  Normally it was just thoughts and previous events.  Now I'm doing anything and everything.  Prayers, quotes, scriptures, events, thoughts, hopes, dreams, etc.  It is so cathartic!

Speaking of hopes and dreams.  I think I'm supposed to be working with children.  I know this sounds crazy.  I already work with the youth group at my church.  I don't know to what extent this is but I keep feeling this pull.  I really want to get into photography.  I have a plan for that.  So I'm hoping that is what I'm supposed to be doing.  I HOPE!

I have tomorrow "off" in order for me to go to the doctor.  Well make that two doctor's appointments.  I'm also working on Easter eggs w/ the youth group.  My sister will be arriving late tomorrow night also.  Bring on the madness!!

Last but not least, I have a pair of blue suede platform sandals that I am DYING to wear!!  I need to go through my closet and find an outfit.  I'm DESPERATE because they are absolutely gorgeous! :)



"Pursue one great decisive aim with force and determination." ~ Karl von Clausewitz

...Boy am I off!

Finally Friday!

I gather from reading a few other blogs that EVERYONE has been busy this week!  It is such a blur to me at where all my time went this week.  Monday I started writing a blog that will probably be a 2 or 3 part series.  I wrote SO MUCH!  I'm excited to finish it and post it.  I think it is a really good topic and hope everyone will give their feedback.  I have also been writing at work.  Mostly I've been dealing with analysis and figures.  So it has been hard for me to switch back into writing mode.  Thirdly, I've been writing in my journal a lot lately.  I've written in some form of a journal since middle school.  Most of which I still have.  Someone asked me what the purpose of journaling was.  To me, it is such an easy way to get everything out of my brain.  I've been known to over think things or obsess about an issue.  So I write it out.  It also helps for me to realize what my thoughts and feelings truly are.  I start writing and almost blank out.  My thoughts come out more freely that way.  I try not to lie to myself.  That would just be silly!  But also, I think it is funny to look back and see what I have wrote.  So many times, I make a mountain out of a mole hill.  Hind sight is 20/20 though.  One other thought on journaling, I think it would be cool to give my hypothetical future children my journals.  We've all been there thinking that our parents don't have a clue what we are going through.  I could tell my children that I do know and I can prove it.  All entries are dated. :)  I may have to black out certain parts because they may not need to know every nitty gritty detail of my life.  But again, hypothetically speaking. ;)

I've also been on the phone basically every night making contacts, talking with family, Seth, etc.  CRAZINESS!

I've also been planning for several events.  I have a Thirty One party tomorrow.  I've also agreed to do a booth at a Relay for Life booth.  While I won't be making money off of it, I hope to get contacts and book a few parties from it which would make me money!  My sister will be visiting.  I'm busy with church activities.  Making Easter eggs, cookie and candy bouquets and crafts with the Youth Group to fundraise.  AND a concert.  Easter is coming up of course. YAY for momma's home cooking and family!

In addition to all of that, I'm working on some home improvements, reading a book, purging household stuff, desperately wanting to do some flower gardening, trying to plan summer trips and concert events.  It seems the change of weather has breathed life into my social calendar.  Hip Hip Hooray!!


Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.  ~Grandma Moses

Music: Plain and Simple

If you Google the word "music" you'll see search results such as music videos, music lyrics, music downloads, free music, etc.  But what is music?  If you ask 10 different people separately, you will get 10 different responses.  Music means something different to every person.  Some people just simply aren't moved by music.  Possibly they are moved by art, nature, poetry, etc.  I am definitely not one of those people.  I get chill bumps at the sound of a beautiful voice, a good three part harmony, powerful lyrics or simply the tickling of the ivories.  Sometimes I get chill bumps even after I've heard a song hundreds of times.  For some reason, it just hits me harder in one moment compared to all the previous moments.

Friday night I sat in my bed bawling my eyes out because of a song.  We've all heard it more times than we can count.  "Stand By Me"  Originally sang by Ben E. King in 1960.  Written by legendary song writers Leiber and Stoller with some help of King. 

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me-e, yeah

Coming back to you now?  Well I wasn't listening to the original version or any of the versions by John Lennon, Otis Redding, Jimi Hendrix, Ronnie Milsap, Seal or U2.  (Just to name a few.)  I was listening to a version created by an organization called Playing For Change.   Playing for Change is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music. The idea for this project arose from a common belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people.  My mom had sent me the link because she thought I would like it.  Kudos for my momma knowing what I like!  I had received it a few months ago on a bad day so of course it cheered me up.  Friday was kind of a rough day for reasons I won't go into.  Regardless, I was seeking any type of music to get me out of the funk.  I was going through my emails and found this.  I listened to it repeatedly!  It worked again.  Renewed my spirit and allowed me to finish the day.

I was ready for bed, sitting there with my journal, a book and my Bible.  I was trying to find so many answers and couldn't find it (or maybe I just wasn't listening).  I thought hey why not see if you can get that link on You Tube.  Who would have thought that it would be there with so many more songs!!!  I started listening to it and chills went up and down my body.  Then the water works came.  If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am not a cryer.  I HATE crying in front of people.  I really don't even like to do it in private.  If I do, it lasts a few minutes and I'm over it.  I just kept crying and crying sitting in my bed all by myself.  How totally random is that.  I kept listening to the song over and over, eventually transitioning to the other songs created by Playing For Change.

I know I've got you sitting on pins and needles so here is the link to their You Tube site.  http://www.youtube.com/user/PlayingForChange

Please, please start with "Stand By Me."  Listen to the rest of their songs.  Check out their website.  Pass on this to other people!!

But back to the original paragraph...  What is music to me??  Music is such a powerful and amazing blessing.  It has the ability to change my mood at the drop of a hat.  I can be in the deepest depression and with the strum of a chord or whisper of a voice, I am at peace.  I can also be having a ho hum day and a song with a great beat comes on.  I'm energized.  Sometimes it isn't the lyrics of the songs, it is the instruments, the melodies, the silence...  Music is a breath of life straight from God!


Leave me your thoughts on music.  Love it.  Hate it.  Let me know!



“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”

Me Oh My - What a Weekend!

I had such a crazy busy weekend.  It was SO worth it though. :)  I don't get much time to strictly set aside for what I want to do anymore so I wanted to fit it all in.  The majority of the weekend was spent relaxing, watching movies, hanging out with friends, running errands and doing stuff around the house.

A few blog-worthy experiences...

Black Swan

I treated myself to a $2.50 showing of The Black Swan.  I even bought myself a popcorn and pop for $6.  I know I went on such a spending spree!!  Going into the movie, I knew it was about ballet and had Natalie Portman in it.  (She won an Oscar for her role - Best Actress.)  I left thinking it was a really good movie but somewhat messed up.  A few times the movie caught me off guard, scrambling to figure out what just happened.  Once the movie has finished, you can add all the pieces together to understand the story in its' entirety.  It was sort of tragic but that is often the reality of performing arts.  Dancers, singers, actors/actresses invest so much of their lives into their performances that sometimes can lead to a permanent change of their personality or character.  It was rumored that Heath Ledger took the role of the Joker from The Dark Knight hard.  Sleeping very little.  Possibly taking prescription medications due to the psychological affects of the "getting into the role".  Dancers struggle more than singers or actors/actresses because of age.  Other performers are able to adapt as they age.  Taking on new roles, etc.  I'll leave it at that in case you haven't watched the movie yet.

Shoop's

"We went out last night."  Well not really... I just wanted to use those lyrics.  I actually went out Saturday night with some friends.  One of my friends had recently opened a bar in the old Union location.  I shamefully had not visited the establishment yet.  I just haven't been out in a long time.  It was nothing against him!  He is a classy guy so I knew the bar would be very similar and had no worries about actually entering the bar.  I would say Shoop's was a cross between the Union and Club Luna (if you remember that place).  Laid back but a little more upscale.  We got there relatively early for going out and stayed until 1 or so.  By the time we left, the bar was packed.  The DJ was playing really good music.  If I had stayed maybe another 30 minutes, I would have got up to dance.  Yes - there is a dance floor.  :)  I miss the days of shaking what your momma gave ya.  It was such a great workout!  In case you didn't know, I don't drink.  Therefore, I cannot comment on the quality of the bartenders.  However, they were very aware of my almost fish like consumption of water and of my friend's adult beverages.  They seemed really attentive to anyone that came up to the bar.  I enjoy people watching and it seemed like there was a really good variety of people there that night.  I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for a finer establishment to go hang out with friends or possibly meet someone new.  When you go, ask for Shoop and tell him I sent you.  He'll make sure you have a good time!

Monster Cookies

I had some extra time on my hands and wanted to get creative in the kitchen.  Usually my snicker doodles or chocolate chip cookies are requested.  This time, I was making something for me.  I LOVE oatmeal raisin cookies but hadn't found a good recipe yet.  Melissa found this one and gave it to me.  I don't know how many pans I baked last night but it was enough to fill up my cookie tin.  I still have half the mixing bowl left over.  I'll probably bake those tonight or tomorrow.  I slightly modified the recipe excluding the chocolate candies and chocolate chips.  I just added more raisins.  They are SOOOO good!  Did I mention it was a Paula Deen recipe??  Of course they are good!

Here's the direct link for your enjoyment!  Monster cookies

In order to save you from wasting another 30 minutes, I'll stop there.  Just want you to know that I had such a great weekend and hope you did as well.  WAIT - Can you believe it snowed on Saturday night??? I about froze!  Happy Monday all!


“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Health Care

I going to get on my soap box for a few minutes here.  What is going on with health care??

I've had a series of annoyances with medical professionals lately.  This is spurred by calling a doctor to have an "answering service" tell me to call back after 1:30pm.  They were at lunch.  I called at 11:45am.  REALLY?  You're going to lunch for almost 2 hours?

1. The dentist.  I had to go back to the dentist at the beginning of last week because I had chipped a tooth or broken part of a filling.  Before I made it to the dentist, I had part of another filling fall out.  Irritates me because I haven't had it that long.  I get to the dentist's office.  My appointment was at 10:30 am.  I think I finally got in the chair at 11am.  I asked him "How long are fillings supposed to last?"  He spouts off with some cover my butt type of response.  I understand that they can't last forever but to only last a few years...  Something isn't right.  Okay whatever.... He works on fixing the filling that had fallen out.  His assistant asks about the other tooth and he says well if we have to numb her you're not going to get a lunch.  UM, I'm sitting right here!  As they get closer to finishing my tooth, he keeps rushing the process.  He was able to fix both teeth.  However, the first tooth isn't quite lining up with my bite and feels rough in one spot.  So now I'm going to have to make another trip to Parkersburg to have them properly fix it.  After that, I'm finding a new dentist.  I'll gladly take recommendations.

2. The dermatologist.  I've always had issues with this one.  This is the medical practice that is taking a 2 hour lunch!  I have never seen the actual doctor, only the physician's assistant.  Okay whatever.  I've sat in their waiting room for HOURS before being seen for a 15 minute appointment.  I'm so over this one.  I just have a follow up appointment and I don't think I'm going back.  Don't care at this point.

3. New physician - When I got back from Jamaica in November, I had a letter from my regular doctor saying she was quitting her practice.  UGH.  The office said they would transfer my files and have the new doctor contact me to set up an appointment.  I don't hear anything.  Finally in January, I call, explain what I was told and they say well that isn't how it works.  Okay whatever.  I set up an appointment.  I get to the office early and sat in the waiting room maybe 15 minutes past my appointment time.  A nurse comes to get me and do vitals, little bit of background info, etc.  I go to the exam room and wait for 1 hour and 30 minutes!  The doctor comes in asks what medicine I'm on, if I need refills, wants to set up another exam appointment and off I go.  This took all of maybe 20 minutes.

What the crap is going on in health care?  Whatever happened to putting the patient first?  I have been blessed with "knowing" all my previous physicians by family connections.  However, the treatment I've received the past year is lacking.  I understand some of the difficulties that medical professionals face when it comes to exams, timing, planning, etc.  I get that things don't always go according to plan.  I get that sometimes things happen and others are affected.  I just don't get why physicians and other professionals aren't doing their best to rectify the situation.  Why don't they apologize for wasting my time and resources?  It is almost like they know that if you leave their practice, another patient will come in.  Did no one teach them that it takes more money to attract a NEW customer than it does to keep an EXISTING customer?  Maybe I should copy that page out of my marketing text books and share it with them.

Two Things

1. When is Lent over?
2. I'm finally feeling "normal".


1. Lent

April 23rd.  Over a month away.  I told everyone that I was not going to shop during Lent.  In my mind, this was for anything unnecessary.  However, I've come up to a few question marks.  I'm close to the bottom of my foundation bottle.  To me, this is a necessary purchase.  To most men, I'm sure they would say this is absolutely unnecessary.  Some women would agree or disagree.  I've been trying to hold out on making this purchase just to test my will power.  I'm not sure if I will be able to make it though.  You see, I've always worn make up.  I think mom finally let me start wearing in the end of my 7th grade year.  For roughly 15 years, I've had it on my face in some form or fashion.  When I was younger, I was more adventurous with colors using my face as a canvas for self-expression.  As I've aged and matured, I found one simple routine for my application of makeup.  Sure I have a lot of makeup (most of which is old and needs thrown away or was a "free gift" which also needs thrown away.)  I really don't use much.  However, I have advanced in the application methods (thankfully!) and collected several brushes which greatly outnumber the actual items used.  I think I have at least one brush for every item that I put on.  (Crazy - I JUST realized my brushes equal the number of items I use.)

Also, my mascara is about to run out.  For years, I've used a special color called Auburn by Max Factor.  Because I have red hair, black and even some brown mascara just doesn't look right with my coloring.  Of course, Max Factor had to quit selling the stuff in the States.  I stockpiled when I found out and have lasted about a year and a half.  Welp, I'm down to my last tube and it is drying up.  SO... my good friend Tia (who sells Mary Kay - If you need some, I'll hook you up.) found a website Just for Redheads!!  They sell a few different shades that I would like to try.  Question mark.  I could survive on my free gift black, BLACK mascara and look really goofy OR I could buy it as a necessary purchase.

Give me some advice here.  I'm floating back and forth.

On a side note, I've gone through my closet a couple of times and purged items that I never really wear anymore.  I have tons of casual clothes that are still in really good condition.  Generally, I am wearing business attire or come straight home to pjs.  I don't get the opportunity to wear them much anymore.  Since they are still in good condition, I can't justify just getting rid of them.  On another note, most of the casual clothes I have are solid colors or muted prints.  Nothing fad-ish.  So it isn't like I'm wearing shirts that show my midriff like the mid 90s.  But I have managed to part with clothes that are too short or ill-fitting.

2. Sickness

Sickness doesn't even begin to describe it.  I felt like I had the plague!  It all started a couple Fridays ago with a headache.  I finally went to the doctor on Wednesday after taking the week off.  I had a sinus infection and received prescriptions for antibiotics and nose spray.  (I HATE NOSE SPRAY.)  I was excited to be back in the world and medicated.  Thursday, I survived the day at work.  I got home, had dinner and started feeling nauseous again.  Woke up in the middle of the night sick.  Friday, I was miserable to say the least.  The antibiotics were making me feel worse than I had been feeling.  Thankfully, they were able to switch the meds.  I took Friday evening off so my stomach would have a break and started again on Saturday.  I'm still really exhausted but feeling much more normal!  My appetite is starting to pick back up too.  So happy for that because I love food! :)


But.... It is finally SPRING!!  I have a guy coming to look at the basement this weekend.  After that, I'll decide on how much yard work I'll be able to accomplish this year.  For now, simply cleaning up what is already there.


"An optimist is the human personification of spring." ~ Susan J Bissonette