Relationships 2.0

*Go check out the previous blog for this topic at Relationships.*


Cheap Trick anyone?  Come on a good high energy relationship-ish type song.  My thoughts exactly!

"I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me, I'm beggin' you to beg me..."

Both the male and female sex want all the above.  Something is ingrained in our brains that we need to belong to a group or person or a something.  Maybe it is part of the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  You remember from psychology and every other class that they taught this in...  We have specific needs met as we gradually climb the pyramid to reach self-actualization.  I've put a pretty little diagram just in case you've forgotten. :)

Love/Belonging is right there in the middle.  Above Physiological and Safety needs.  Below Esteem.

So why is it so hard to get that attention that we so desperately seek?  I could go with the obvious family background and the way you were raised.  However, I'm going to go the safe route and say that whoever decided that technology and the fast paced life were needed... blame it on them.  I'm not saying that technology is a bad thing!!  I love having my iPhone and television and Facebook.  All of these things and so much more have caused society to constantly be running around like a chicken with our head cut off.  I can point fingers because I am SO guilty of this!  I shouldn't be pointing fingers though.   I haven't really spent any time with my boyfriend in several months.  (The time equates to about 3 days in April.)  There are many reasons for this.  Partially because I didn't feel that I was wanted.  So I created things for me to do so I felt wanted.  My excuse is that I have all kinds of things that I "need" to do.  Why do I feel that need is there?  Because I want to belong.  I want to be needed.  I decided that if I couldn't feel that with my boyfriend, I'll feel it somewhere else.  Not saying that was the most mature approach.  I never claimed to be the best at relationships!  Just that I've been around the block a time or two, stumbled across the pavement, got a few cuts and scrapes, but I still keep walking. :)

Both males and females want to be wanted.  Men may not admit to it as much as a woman would but they still want to be wanted.  Fixing stuff around the house, opening jars because they are stronger, being your protection, being the PROVIDER, etc.  Men thrive on that kind of stuff.  Women... well we are more emotional.  We 'mother'.  We fix meals, make sure the house is clean, everyone is taken care of, etc.  As I'm typing this, I kind of hesitate on the woman's side of things.  Strange that I can't put into words what women want and the ways that they demonstrate this want.  Makes me laugh a little because I tell a lot of guys when they ask about women, "Women don't know what they want... but they want it all."  You know why oftentimes women don't know what they want?  Simple.  We've been ingrained to fulfill the wants, needs and desires of everyone else in our lives before we fulfill our own.  Maybe this is a generalization for southern women instead of women everywhere.  I think it fits to some degree though.  The mantra of "If everyone else is happy, then I'm happy."  But what about the line "If momma ain't happy, then nobody's happy."  I've painted quite a conundrum for myself.  Is it just a vicious cycle?  Is it an unspoken rule that momma rules the land?

WOW... I've digressed.  In life, we all want to be wanted.  Once we've left childhood and partially the teenage years, we tend to gravitate towards the opposite sex.  We are looking to be wanted by the opposite sex.  We are trying to fulfill that societal and physiological role of finding a mate.

Now just to let you know.  I have already finished typing my spiel to answer the original question.  I took the end of this blog and created another so it wouldn't be too long.  So check back in a few days for "Relationships - Tres"


"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu