In case this is your first time viewing my blog, this is the first multiple-post blog topic I have written. This all began because a friend asked me a relationship question and I decided to write something about it. Please go check out Relationships. Then read Relationships 2.0 to get you caught up to speed!
*Drum roll please........*
Back to the original question and my answer. Yes. Finally an answer!
Q - "Why do girls you ignore 'love ya' and the ones you show attention to take it for granted?"
A - Girls that you ignore, want your attention. They want to feel wanted. They want to feel desired. They want to feel pretty and special. If you all of a sudden just fall off the face of the Earth, that shakes our world. We don't know if we have done something wrong. We analyze and over analyze every word, thought, outfit, conversation, date, etc. We reach out to you by calling, texting, showing up where we know you'll be. Sometimes it goes to the extreme of making ourselves lose sleep, break out in a rash, stop eating.... (Yes, I've been there. I thought I was "in love" with the guy. His loss.) Guys - That is why you need to be honest with us ladies. And you might hate me for calling you out but MEN you want all of the same things. You hate it when we ignore you just the same.
The latter part of the question can be answered by the sheer fact that we take it for granted when we can have something all the time. It is just like family, friends, a favorite store, the park, God, etc. The unfortunate fact is that if something is always there, we know we can get it whenever we want. We take it for granted. I think that is why we appreciate the seasons so much more. We endure temperatures and inclement weather because we know that the next season is right around the corner. We appreciate each season for what it is and know that it won't be here forever. I'm not saying that we are justified in the fact that we take things for granted. I think it is again part of human nature. Also, if someone is ignoring you, it is probably because they are not interested. Truth is that if someone is interested in you, they will show it whether it is phone calls, texts, making plans together, visiting you at work, etc. VERY RARELY are they ignoring you because they are preoccupied with something else. ie. family problems, work stress, financial issues, etc.
I think it boils down to honesty. Honesty from both parties to yourself and the other party. First off, you have to know what you want. If you are just looking for someone to entertain you and not a relationship, then you shouldn't be getting all bent out of shape. If you are looking for a relationship, then you should have already completed the work on your end. You know who you are and what you're looking for. In Patti Stranger's book, she instructs the reader to create a list of 5 things that are non-negotiable and 5 things that are negotiable. You should stick to your list. Even carry it around with you. Look at it often. I posted it on my cork board at work and even took a picture of it with my phone. For instance, a smoker is a non-negotiable for me. If I met a smoker, a switch flipped in my brain to not feel anything for them romantically. This actually helped me tremendously. Remember boys and girls, you cannot change someone. You have to accept AND appreciate the person for who they are today. Not who they were or who they will be. The list prevented me from wasting my time on guys that didn't fit my list. Now my negotiables are somewhat negotiable. Not saying this happened but for example... If a guy fit all of my requirements but wasn't exactly tall or outgoing. I should give it an honest effort to see what could happen.
Secondly, if both parties are honest with each other from the get go, it cuts out a LOT of drama and hurt feelings. If you're looking for a relationship and the other person isn't, don't waste your time. Add them to your network and move on! Being honest can be scary. You're putting your feelings out there. Trust me it is SO worth it. I don't know about you but I can't read minds. I can assume something but we all know where that leads...
Now before you go out and practice this, please use discretion. Don't go on a first date or even when you're first meeting someone and tell them that you are looking for the future father/mother to their children. That is just creepy. Get to know the person. If you feel those sparks flying, wait a little bit longer. Then wait a little bit longer and then casually bring up the conversation. This advice is the same for marriage or anything that is a major life decision!!
I hope you've learned something from this topic. I've certainly enjoyed writing about it. Relationships are tricky things. Some of us are lucky enough to figure them out early on in life. Others... well we have to bang our head against a brick wall several times before we finally learn our lessons! Regardless, everything happens for a reason. Every encounter you have builds you into the person you are today and someone, somewhere will love that person for exactly who he/she is. :) Now go have some fun!
“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”
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